Be on the Right Side of History

We tend to think art or writing, music, accumulation of wealth, posthumous lore, or intelligent, honorable children will carry our legacies. Agreed. In general. However, where our ancestors stood on the heavy contemporary issues of their day have the biggest effect on our feelings for them. I’m white. There are slave owners in my lineage. Not cool. However, at least one of my ancestors released his slaves decades before the US forced others to do the same. Very cool. We judge the people of history by their relationships to pivotal moments and when we do, more often than not, we validate our judgment from the luxury of modernity. That grotesque 20/20 hindsight cliché rises again like one of those black and blue ghouls in Japanese horror films. Society finds much of its shame, fear, love, and humor in history. History is our revolving legacy.

Be on the right side of history.

Yes, experts can be assholes. Can’t we all? Experts can be arrogant. Can’t we all? It’s not the experts themselves that matter. What matters is the amount of real knowledge a dedicated group of arrogant assholes can accumulate. Evolution is one of those piles of knowledge. We argue the reality of evolution from hundreds of angles on hundreds of sub-topics but the most evident and relevant angle is medicine. Scientists in medical research and disease prevention watch evolution working in real time every day. Evolution is real. If you are remembered for your disbelief in evolution, you will be a joke.   

Be on the right side of history.

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By 1807, slavery was on its way out of the Western World. When history finally forced her to address slavery, the USA had to entertain a gory family feud that still results in knife play at holiday dinners. And regardless of the story we hear from the media, I truly believe we are breeding overt racism out of the species. The black communities in America are not out to get anyone. You don’t understand their culture? Your kids do and they are anything but afraid.

Be on the right side of history.        

Is abortion right? Is abortion good? Roe v Wade ended a decades-long crime wave in 90’s. Unwanted children in poor communities become unemployed, uneducated, violent adults. Ironically, abortion saves lives. It also stabilizes communities by lowering the rate of neglected children who become uneducated adults. Plus, any denial of abortion is a flat-out discrimination against women. Unfortunately, the majority of people who make decisions about reproductive rights are not members of the peer group affected by those decisions. No man’s entire biology is changed or his health threatened by pregnancy. If women alone held the power to keep it available, abortion would face almost no threat. One must weigh the pros and cons to say whether abortion is right and good. But right and good have different sources of dictate in religion. Christians are generally okay people when they’re not clobbering people over the head with their ideology. There are many things in and out of the Christian ideology that ensure these conflicts, the same sorts of things that ensure Islam’s persistent clash with modernity. Keep it to yourselves. Respect our space and we’ll respect yours. I promise. (Incidentally, most Jews feel abortion is acceptable)     

Be on the right side of history.  

Mexican immigrants are no different than the rest of us and they will do whatever it takes to provide for their families and create a better life. (This commonality is a recurring crux in these issues that one side or another refuses to acknowledge.) Harsh labor laws against Hispanic workers in certain southern states have turned “they’re taking our jobs” into a punchline. This isn’t 1932. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to hear that white people aren’t willing to pick fruit and vegetables from dawn to dusk in the year 2015. It’s still true. White people work at McDonalds and Wal-Mart because they can speak and write (txt) in English (or a facsimile of it) and they vote Republican. A presidential pardon of all illegal immigrants in this country would not destroy America. Goodjumptupchrist, they are Americans! 

Be on the right side of history.

Pot smokers aren’t hurting anyone.

Be on the right side of history.

Bronies are not a threat. 

Be on the right side of history.

Sure drag queens are weird but so are Teabaggers. 

Be on the right side of history.

Recognizing same-sex marriage won’t trigger Armageddon. Recognizing marriage to computers or phones, toasters or espresso machines is coming too. Guess what… it won’t hurt anyone. I promise.   

Be on the right side of history.

I always try to point out my own failing in some way regarding my themes. I’m probably wrong about cyclical cosmology. I can’t help it. I love the idea. But as far as being on the right side of history, my ball and chain is meat. More specifically, factory farmed meat. I eat factory farmed meat. All the factory farmed meat. Will my ancestors look through my Instagram in vomitous horror at my steaks and brats? Probably. Right now… it looks like I’ll be a 22nd century equivalent of a racist.

Admitted, the right side of history can be a difficult place to find.
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